Many parents I talk to want to involve their children in cooking as they know it helps them learn a range of self-care skills, cultivate curiosity about food in a low-pressure environment, and has the potential to create beautiful moments of connection and life-long memories.
Baking cookies with my mother is one of my fondest childhood memories. Now that I am a parent, I like the idea of doing the same with my kids. However, I find making those little biscuits incredibly time-consuming and much less magical than I remember.
The reality of cooking or preparing food with children often falls short of the perfect images we see on social media, and the results may look very different from our aspirational Pinterest boards. In addition, time constraints, impractical kitchen designs or caretaking responsibilities often leave many parents unable to invite their kids into the kitchen as much as they want to. Many of my clients in South Africa and Singapore have grandparents living with them or employ domestic helpers who do most of the family cooking. And parents don't want to burden caregivers with another task.
Involving children in the kitchen is more than just baking holiday cookies with them once a year. It can be very helpful to include children in the kitchen regularly, but it will look different for each family. This blog aims to provide you with practical tips and ideas to make cooking with your children a little more achievable and an enjoyable experience, even amid our hectic daily lives.
If your child has sensory processing differences or is neurodivergent, you may need to make some adjustments to accommodate them. For instance, you can avoid using noisy appliances or cooking with strong-smelling ingredients. If your child is uncomfortable touching certain foods, you can allow them to wear food-safe gloves. To start, cook something your child loves eating, and keep it simple. If you want to show your child how to do something, Nikki Smit, a neuro-affirming occupational therapist based in Singapore, recommends using the hand-UNDER approach. You do the task, and your child can place their hand on yours to feel the action. They can remove their hand when they want to.
1. The planned, curated experiences and sporadic, messy moments count.
Your family is unique, and you know yourself and your children best. For example, some parents and children dislike mess, while others enjoy it.
If you prefer a calm environment and enough time to explore and be creative, you may need to plan for one specific meal activity on the weekends. If you struggle with the mess, I recommend choosing recipes wisely, having a clear plan (and perhaps doing some prep work beforehand) and knowing how you will end; for example, prepare a station to clean hands or send them directly into the bath. You could make something outside instead of in the kitchen. This blog post from Busy Toddler gives some great tips on how to deal with messy play.
On the other hand, some parents are not the type to plan elaborate cooking sessions and are less worried about a mess. If that's you, you might prefer to be more impulsive and seize quick moments of preparing something together rather than engage in a big cooking event. For example, ask your child to help chop something for dinner or teach them to make their snack. These spontaneous and brief culinary encounters can be just as rewarding, fostering connection and creating lasting memories amid a fast-paced lifestyle.
2. Accept that, in reality, cooking with kids will not look as perfect as on social media or stock photos.
In other words, lower your expectations—a lot. While social media may depict perfect, flour-covered countertops and smiling children, the reality of cooking with kids is often messier and uglier – and that's perfectly okay. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your children – and be patient and flexible. Embrace the mess and focus on the joy and learning that takes place rather than striving for culinary perfection. In my experience, the mistakes and spills are often where the real learning and moments of connection happen (for you and your child). If it turns out well, serve it for the family or pack it for school lunches. If it was a failure or complete disaster, laugh about it – I promise they will love it just as much and it makes for great family stories.
And remember, the goal is never to "get your children to eat". While cooking, many children taste and eat what they made, but others will still not try it – that's okay.
Embrace imperfection: Help me normalise how messy and imperfect having kids in the kitchen is. Post your flawed experience using the hashtag #imperfectkidsfoodfun.
3. Create a Child-Friendly Kitchen
Many parents are worried about safety when exposing their children to sharp kitchen utensils or having them stand on step stools. When my kids were young, I invested in a kitchen learning tower (my husband used the Ikea-hack our make our own budget version). And it was one of the best decisions ever. It meant they could get up close to the kitchen counter or washbasin, and I felt better knowing they were safe. And they use it for a long time!
You don't need fancy tools or utensils, but some additions make life a little easier (and safer), e.g. child-safe knives, lightweight measuring jug with a lid, cookie cutters, easy-to-hold spatulas, spoons and a pastry brush.
4. Choose Age (or Developmentally)-Appropriate Tasks
Tailor your cooking activities to your child's age and abilities and your comfort level around safety. For instance, I am less concerned about minor cuts from grating food but vigilant about anything hot.
Younger children or those just starting to help can wash vegetables, tear lettuce, stir ingredients, or set the table. At the same time, more experienced kids can take on more complex tasks like chopping, measuring, and even following a simple recipe. This keeps them engaged and builds their confidence in the kitchen. Below are some suggestions and ideas for your child based on their development. Remember, every child is different and develops at their own pace. The age recommendations are just a guide and are not milestones they need to reach.
Ideas for developmentally appropriate kitchen and food preparation tasks for children
Getting started (e.g. 18 months - 3 years) |
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Finding their Groove (e.g. 4-5 years) |
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Sous-Chef in the making (e.g. 6-9 years) |
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5. Not everyone will be a chef, so start with simple recipes that don't take long.
When cooking with children, choosing simple recipes with minimal ingredients and steps is best. Hands-on dishes like assembling pizzas or rolling meatballs are great options. You can also get creative by letting your child decorate dishes with pastry strips, like on a chicken pot pie.
Remember, not everyone will be a chef, foodie, or even love cooking, but teaching children how to prepare basic food elements, such as scrambled eggs or peanut butter on a sandwich, are essential life skills.
6. Get some inspiration from favourite books, TV programs or characters.
Recently, my 7-year-old found a salad recipe in a Bluey activity book and wanted to make it. So, we went to the grocery store, and he had to read the ingredient list, find the items, and pay for them (with my money, obviously). I helped him prepare it, and we ended with a great salad for dinner. He ate about half the bowl of salad and loved it. Now, he knows he is responsible for sometimes making "Bluey's salad" for dinner, which fills him with pride.
Some families enjoy a bit of friendly competition. They often draw inspiration from popular cooking shows they watch together and organize a cooking challenge where they divide into teams and set up a challenge or tasting competition. This activity is great for both older and younger children.
7. If you want, you can use cooking to deepen other learnings.
If your child needs to practice reading, have them read the recipe for you. If they need to practice counting, shapes, reading time or fractions, cooking is a terrific opportunity to incorporate learning into daily activities. You can also explore science through the cooking process, like baking bread together or using it to explain to them where food comes from; for example, making yoghurt from milk. However, there is no need for nutrition and health lectures. Also, if that's not your vibe, you can cook for the sake of cooking.
Amid our fast-paced lives, cooking with our children can be a powerful way to connect, teach valuable life skills, and build lasting memories. Embrace the imperfections, relish the laughter, and savour the delicious results of your joint culinary adventures (or laugh at the failures). Cooking with children is not just about making a meal; it's about creating a foundation for a lifetime of psychologically healthy relationships with food, self-care life skills and cherished family moments.
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