10 Things You Didn’t Know (But Should) About Nutrition for Tweens and Beyond

Most families I work with are navigating the tween years (ages ~7–12), and over time, I’ve noticed a common theme: parents often aren’t given enough guidance around nutrition during this stage. There is plenty of information about feeding babies and young children, but the support often diminishes regarding what happens next.

Yet, this is precisely when things begin to shift again - physically, emotionally, and socially:

• Growth is steady but starts ramping up.

• Puberty begins for some kids earlier than expected.

• School, friends, and media start shaping food choices more than before.

Good nutrition remains crucial during these years, and how we talk about food and bodies continues to shape our tween's relationship with eating for life. So, let’s dive in.

Here are 10 essential things to know about nutrition for tweens, plus practical ways to support them. I've also included some insights about adolescence because, like with most things in parenting, having a sense of what’s coming can help you feel more prepared for what’s happening now.

Want the quick summary? Jump to the summary!

An Important Note on Language

In this article, I use the terms “boy” and “girl” to refer to children based on sex assigned at birth - specifically, children with testes (typically producing testosterone) and children with ovaries (typically producing oestrogen). Children who are transgender, non-binary, or gender-diverse — and those taking puberty blockers or gender-affirming hormone therapy — may experience puberty differently. While some of the biological changes described here are framed using male/female terminology for clarity, I recognise and affirm that the lived experience of gender and body development is diverse.

 1. Navigating the Outside Influences

As children grow older, external influences beyond the home start playing a bigger role in shaping their eating habits. Parents often tell me they’ve noticed shifts in their child’s eating habits, whether it’s the foods they ask for, what they want for lunch, or what they suddenly don’t like anymore. These changes are frequently influenced by friends, school environments, advertising, or social media trends, and sometimes, they might not be quite what you had hoped for.

But here’s the thing: Before fearing the worst or going straight to “no” when your tween asks for that new Mr. Beast Feastable or a viral milkshake from a trendy café, try pausing and getting curious.

These moments can be a great learning opportunity for your child and the whole family. And besides, external influences are not always negative. They can lead to discussions about values, critical thinking, and balance. And often, external influences can lead them to try new foods. When food requests are approached with curiosity rather than judgment, they can assist your child in developing a healthier relationship with food and feel heard throughout the process. And who knows - you might learn something new about yourself too!

Of course, if a request conflicts with family values and choices, you can set boundaries while still showing openness:

By remaining open and curious, you can help your child develop curiosity about food while maintaining a connection with your child and your family’s values.

NOTE: This is different from when food choices become restrictive — like cutting out whole food groups, "eating clean," or wanting to try weight loss diets — and you're noticing changes in their eating patterns, mood, or growth. It’s always best to seek professional support.

2. Developmentally, They Need More Agency with Food Choices

As children grow, so does their independence - particularly in making food decisions. Many parents wish for their children to take on more responsibility, such as preparing their breakfast and snacks or packing their school lunch, but then they feel anxious about their choices when they are not exactly what they would have chosen.

According to psychologist Erik Erikson, school-age children are navigating the stage of Industry vs. Inferiority. The goal during these years is to develop skills, feel capable, and gain confidence, and guess what? Food is a key area where this can happen.

When we foster food agency, we’re saying:

But when we overly control food choices or dismiss their input, the message can become:

What Fostering Food Agency Can Look Like:

• Giving them more of a say in mealtime routines and schedules.

• Have them make their snacks or some age-appropriate meals (and be okay with imperfections and mess).

• Encourage them to suggest meals, new foods, or ideas for the weekly menu. For example, give them a meal to be in charge of, like Sunday evenings.

• Involve them in food shopping (e.g. give them a section of the shopping list and meet at the check out).

• Have them plan and pack their sporting snacks (with guidance).

• Have them order their own meals when eating out.

What Undermines Agency and Confidence:

• Always plating or portioning food for them without their input.

• Deciding and ordering food for them at a restaurant.

• Spoon-feeding past the stage when they are developmentally ready to eat independently (unless needed for disability or support reasons).

• Discouraging or ignoring their food suggestions.

• Requiring them to taste everything or pressuring them to finish meals.

• Making food or eating about compliance (sit straight, don't mess) rather than connection.

By giving your child opportunities to participate, explore, and make choices with guidance, you're not just teaching essential life skills or nurturing a healthier relationship with food - you're also helping them build self-trust, a sense of capability, and confidence that reaches far beyond the kitchen.

3. Puberty Starts Earlier Than You Think

Puberty isn’t just a teenage milestone; it often begins a couple of years before many parents expect it. Some children start experiencing hormonal shifts as early as 8 or 9 years old, meaning their bodies change and their nutritional needs increase sooner than expected. The first sign of puberty many parents notice is the onset of body odour.

What Happens When Puberty Begins?

Puberty is commonly measured using the Tanner Stages or Sexual Maturity Rating (SMR), a scale that tracks physical development in growing children.

Tanner Stage 1 is known as pre-puberty. During this stage, you may not see any outward physical changes, but the brain and hormones may already be at work, quietly beginning to signal the body to prepare for what's ahead. Tanner Stage 2 marks the first visible signs of puberty - these can include breast budding in girls, and testicular enlargement in boys, along with the appearance of some pubic hair. These changes signal that puberty is officially underway and can start during the tween years for some kids. You will see no age is linked to this, as the timing of puberty varies greatly. Some children start earlier, some later, and factors like ethnicity, genetics, and environment all play a role.

I explain it as follows: Puberty is like a plane taking off.

Reaching full physical maturity is cruising altitude.

The tween years? That’s the runway. The doors are closed, the cabin crew is doing their checks, and the plane is moving into position. You’re not in the air yet, but you've left the gate. The significant changes are still to come - but things are already in motion. And this is why what we do now matters so much.

As these changes begin, nutritional needs gradually increase — even before significant growth spurts are visible. The body works behind the scenes, building the foundations for rapid development. Ensuring your child is well-fueled at this stage is essential for supporting everything from bone growth to hormone production. During this time, appetites may fluctuate, and children might crave different foods - this is entirely normal and a sign that their body is doing exactly what it should.

4. Body Changes During Puberty Can Be Hard - And Even Harder for Some Kids

Body changes during puberty can feel awkward or uncomfortable for many children, but for some, the experience is incredibly distressing. Certain groups of children may find puberty particularly challenging or overwhelming. For example:

Neurodivergent kids (e.g., ADHD, autism) or those with sensory processing differences

• Body changes, such as breast growth, voice deepening, or starting a period, can feel physically uncomfortable and challenging to process.

• Heightened sensory sensitivity can make new sensations overwhelming, such as the feeling of breast buds, body fat, body hair, or menstrual products.

• Changes in routine (e.g., needing to shave, wear a bra, or manage a period) can be stressful or disruptive.

Transgender or gender-diverse kids

• Puberty can trigger a heightened sense of gender dysphoria, a deep discomfort with how the body is developing. Watching their bodies change in ways that don’t align with their gender identity can be distressing and isolating. Research shows that gender dysphoria is linked to increased risks of eating disorders, self-harm, and mental health struggles.

If your child struggles, don’t dismiss it as “just a phase” - their experience is real and valid. Seek affirming, supportive professionals (e.g., therapists, doctors, or support groups) if your child finds body changes especially difficult.

5. Their Energy Needs Are Ramping Up – but not always in the way you expect

During puberty, energy needs surge, even more so than in adulthood. Growth spurts, muscle, fat, organ development, and often heightened physical activity cause children to burn through fuel faster than ever before.

But here’s the tricky part: Appetites don’t always follow a predictable pattern. Growth tends to happen in spurts, with periods of rapid development followed by times when little seems to change. As a result, appetite often fluctuates, too. These shifts are the body’s way of self-regulating - and a great reminder that appetite doesn’t always follow a predictable pattern.

How Appetite Changes During Puberty

• Often, growth comes in stages, and so they may go through periods of eating large quantities and other periods of decreased appetite.

• Many children eat less during the school day but naturally compensate by eating more at home. For some, this is due to the distractions, stress, or sensory overload in a noisy, chaotic school cafeteria. Others may struggle with appetite suppression from ADHD stimulant medication, making it challenging to eat during the day. In these cases, their hunger can return with full force after school or in the evening, leading them to eat more at home to make up for the missed intake. While we want to encourage more regular eating patterns, it's also important to recognise that this self-regulation is normal.

Instead of overfocusing on what they eat at a specific meal, consider how much they are eating over a day or week.

Practical Tips:

• Never shame (or tease) a growing child for their appetite. Instead, focus on providing food regularly, every 3-4 hours, to meet their energy needs.

• If they participate in sport, ensure you meet their fuelling needs.

• Check if their meals contain enough carbohydrates, fat, fibre, and protein to give them better staying power.

Examples of easy, nutrient-dense snacks:

• Peanut butter sandwich + banana

• Bagel with cream cheese & smoked salmon and cucumber

• Popcorn + trail mix (nuts, dried fruit)

• Boiled eggs, cheese blocks, hummus, carrots & whole grain crackers

• Granola bar, fruit and biltong (or jerky)

• On-the-go smoothies (I love these locally made ones from The Oat Bar)

  
  

  

  
  

6. Tweens and Teens Aren’t Just Smaller Adults (or Bigger Kids!) — Their Nutrient Needs Are Unique

Tweens and teenagers are unique in their nutrient requirements. The requirements for certain key nutrients are disproportionately higher than at any other stage of life, reflecting the intense growth and development during these years. For example:

• A teenage girl needs almost double the iron of an adult male. This is critical for blood production, brain function, and energy levels.

• Bone-building peaks in these years. If they don’t get enough calcium, they’re at a higher risk of fractures and osteoporosis later. At age 9, calcium requirements are as high as 1300mg daily, about 60% higher than for a 6-year-old.

For many nutrients, like zinc, magnesium, vitamin D, and vitamin A, tweens and teens require significantly higher amounts than younger children. This is why it’s essential to support them in eating enough nourishing, energy-dense foods that meet their needs.

Practical Tip: Prioritise Calcium and Iron-Rich Foods

Iron-rich foods:

• Heme iron (more easily absorbed): Beef, lamb, chicken, pork.

• Non-heme iron (plant-based sources): Lentils, Chickpeas, Beans, Asian leafy greens, Tofu. Tip: Pair non-heme iron with vitamin C (like fruit, capsicum, or tomato) to boost absorption.

  
  

Calcium-rich foods:

• Dairy sources: Cow’s milk, Yoghurt, Cheese

• Plant-based alternatives: Calcium-enriched plant-based milk (e.g. soy, oat, almond), Tofu made with calcium salts, Leafy green vegetables (e.g. bok choy, kale), Beans and legumes, Fortified foods (like some cereals, breads, or spreads).

• Fish with edible bones, e.g. Sardines or Ikan bilis (anchovies)

If your child struggles to get enough iron or calcium through food, reach out for support. I can help you create a plan that meets their nutritional needs without unnecessary stress or restriction.

7. Body Changes, Weight Gain and Growth Are Expected And Necessary

Body changes and weight gain isn’t just normal during puberty - it’s essential. If your child isn’t gaining weight during these years, it can be a red flag for nutrient deficiencies, eating disorders, or other health concerns. Your child's entire body, organs, brain, muscles, and bones are growing.

Did you know?

• A child’s skeleton will double in weight by the end of puberty.

• Their heart nearly doubles in size over the course of puberty.

• Their lungs expand significantly, requiring more oxygen and energy.

.During puberty, the way the body grows also changes:

• Girls naturally gain more fat mass, especially around the tummy, arms, hips, and thighs.

• Boys begin to develop more lean muscle mass.

Both patterns are healthy and necessary for proper development. And remember: all bodies grow in their own time and in their own way.

Children’s bodies also change in shape and proportion. In early childhood, they tend to be mostly torso, with shorter arms and legs. But as puberty kicks in, you might suddenly feel like they’re all limbs, as their arms and legs stretch out and their bodies begin to become more adult-like.

That said, if you notice sudden or significant weight changes - whether gain or loss - it’s always a good idea to check in with a trusted medical professional to rule out any underlying concerns. Weight changes should always be interpreted in the context of a child’s individual growth trajectory rather than just a once-off 'snapshot' of weight measurement or through visual comparisons, which can be misleading. If you're concerned about your child's weight gain, seek help - just be sure you're working with someone who considers the whole picture, not just the number on the scale.

Practical Tip:

• Ban body talk at home. Do not comment negatively about weight gain or "eating too much." Instead, have open, honest, and positive discussions about what to expect during puberty.

• Remove the scale: I have never seen a positive outcome from teens having access to weighing themselves.

 8. By Age 18, Almost 80% of Kids May Have Experienced Appearance-Based Bullying*

This statistic from a 2023 youth survey in Australia [1] isn’t meant to scare you; it shows that the issue isn’t your child’s body. The real problem is a culture that objectifies bodies and wrongly equates health, worth, and value with appearance.

Instead of trying to “fix” your child’s body, I recommend we help them challenge harmful beauty standards and understand that all bodies are valid, worthy, and deserving of respect, just as they are. For example, encourage diverse representation in books, movies, and social media to broaden their perception of beauty and worth.

Learn how to converse openly and honestly about body image with your children. If you need support, feel free to arrange a shame-free consultation with me.

9. Dieting Is a Huge Red Flag

Girls as young as six are dieting due to body dissatisfaction. 21% of 5-year-olds, 37% of 9-year-olds and 50% of 8 to 13-year-olds are concerned about their weight*.

No matter how it’s framed - “eating healthier,” “cutting back on junk food,” or “getting fit” intentional restriction during puberty is risky. The act of starting any diet increases the risk of eating disorders in adolescent girls and boys.

Dieting, by definition, is the purposeful severe restriction of calorie intake to create a negative energy balance (burning more than one eats). And during these vulnerable years, it can have serious consequences:

• Disrupt hormones and delay puberty.

• Cause irreversible bone loss and long-term health issues.

• Trigger eating disorders, especially in genetically predisposed children*.

  
  

Puberty is a time to fuel growth, not fight it. Restriction at this stage doesn’t just affect weight - it can impact physical and emotional health for years.

Practical Tip:

• Instead of focusing on "healthy eating," talk about fueling their body for energy, concentration and strength.

• Watch for sneaky restrictions - skipping meals, avoiding carbs, becoming vegetarian, tracking food intake on apps. These can be early warning signs of disordered eating.

If you are concerned about your tween or teen, please seek support. Early intervention is key!

A side note on the gendered expectations around appetite and how it harms girls.

In many cultures, boys are encouraged to eat heartily, while girls are often expected to eat less or make "lighter" food choices. This double standard is so ingrained that many parents don’t realise how harmful it can be - especially during puberty.

Here’s a concerning trend I have noticed over the years:

• Girls hit puberty earlier than boys and reach their peak growth velocity (PHV) sooner (~2 years earlier) - meaning their energy needs increase earlier than boys.

• Girls need relatively the same amount of energy as boys during puberty, yet they are often subtly discouraged from eating freely.

• To reach physical maturity, girls must increase body fat, especially around the waist and tummy—a normal and necessary process. They also experience hormonal shifts that impact the skin, gut function, and appetite.

• Society’s obsession with unrealistic ideals of thinness — combined with beauty standards that idealise pre-pubertal features rather than mature, diverse female bodies - often leads to unnecessary restriction for girls at a time when they need fuel the most.

The consequence? Because of these harmful cultural messages, many girls don’t eat enough during a critical growth period. This can result in:

• Underfueling negatively impacts growth, bone density, hormone regulation, and overall development.

• Increased risk of eating disorders due to early exposure to diet culture and body dissatisfaction.

   

What Parents Can Do:

• Challenge the double standard - all kids deserve to eat as much as their body needs without guilt or shame.

• Reassure girls that body fat gain is a healthy and necessary part of development.

• Make sure girls are getting enough fuel, not just for growth, but for long-term hormonal and metabolic health.

10. Poop Talk Still Matters

As kids get older and learn to wipe their own bums, you might notice a funny shift: one day, they stop yelling, “Mum, I’m making a poo!”

And just like that, you’re finally out of the poop joke phase that dominated the preschool years - congratulations! But with that comes a new challenge: you’re no longer getting daily updates on their bowel movements, and tracking what’s going on with their gut health becomes harder.

Gut health remains crucial during the tween and teen years. Hormonal changes can affect digestion, impacting appetite, energy levels, concentration, and mood. Additionally, gut health and emotional wellbeing are interlinked, so if their digestion is off, it’s worth checking in emotionally and physically.

One common concern I see in this age group is low fibre intake. And yes, fruit and vegetables are great sources of fibre, but so are:

• Nuts & seeds

• Whole grains and cereals (like oats, barley, brown rice)

• Legumes (like lentils, chickpeas, beans)

• Popcorn

More fibre means more fluid! So, helping children drink adequate fluid remains essential. Keeping things moving on the inside can help your child feel better all around,

even if they’re no longer giving you a play-by-play from the bathroom.

Practical Tip:

• Normalise poop talk - let them know it’s a normal part of health.

• Use this handy poo checker from Eric to discuss bowel movements.

  

  
  

Final Thoughts

The tween years are a time of quiet transformation. Growth speeds up, appetites shift, bodies change shape, and the outside world starts to play a bigger role in how children see themselves.

If all of this feels like a lot, you’re not alone. The tween years bring big changes and you don’t have to tackle everything at once.

To summarise the important parts:

1. Focus on connection over perfection. Shared moments, open conversations, and a warm, judgment-free environment matter more than getting perfect nutrition every time.

2. Support food independence - bit by bit. Let them help pack snacks, choose meals, or make simple food decisions. These small steps build self-trust and capability.

3. Prioritise regular meals and snacks. Ensuring your tween has consistent access to food every 3–4 hours is one of the most powerful ways to support their growth, focus, and mood.

4. Continue paying attention to iron and calcium. These nutrients are in high demand during prepuberty. Including foods like meat, legumes, leafy greens, dairy or fortified alternatives, tofu, and small fish with edible bones can make a big difference.

5. Keep body talk neutral (or better yet, positive). Avoid commenting on weight or size - yours or theirs. Instead, speak with curiosity, kindness, and trust in their growing body.

This stage offers a powerful window of opportunity. By staying curious, supporting their independence, and creating a positive, flexible food environment, you’re helping your child build lifelong trust in their body, their hunger, and themselves. It’s not about getting it perfect. It’s about being present, informed, and willing to learn alongside them.

So whether you’re navigating lunchbox negotiations, body image worries, or “Is this normal?” growth spurts - know that you're not alone. And you’re always doing better than you think.

References:

1. Butterfly Foundation (2023). Body Kind Youth Survey: Your body image, Your voice 2023 report. Retrieved from http://www.butterfly.org.au/youthsurveyfindings

2. Lowes, J., & Tiggemann, M. (2003). Body dissatisfaction, dieting awareness and the impact of parental influence in young children. British Journal of Health Psychology, 8(2), 135–147. https://doi.org/10.1348/135910703321649123

3. Lawler M, Nixon E. Body dissatisfaction among adolescent boys and girls: the effects of body mass, peer appearance culture and internalisation of appearance ideals. J Youth Adolesc. 2011 Jan;40(1):59-71. doi: 10.1007/s10964-009-9500-2. Epub 2010 Jan 8. PMID: 20058058

4. Brookes, S. & Severson, A. How to Raise an Intuitive Eater. 2022. St Martins Publishing Group.

5. Bulik, C. Negative energy balance: A biological trap for people prone to anorexia. (2014) https://uncexchanges.org/2014/12/01/negative-energy-balance-a-biological-trap-for-people-prone-to-anorexia-nervosa/.