Many families in Singapore travel during the holidays to visit friends and family. Vacations are exciting but stressful, especially with a picky (or selective) eater. Parents worry about access to favourite foods, disrupted routines, and jetlag, making their children even more selective, and they fear judgment from others.
As always, I use the term picky to describe a child’s eating habits, not the child. I prefer the term selective or cautious eater as it feels less judgemental. And I will use those terms more frequently in this blog.
Over the years, I've seen how resourceful parents of cautious eaters are. They plan, pack safe foods, and research accommodations to ensure their child has something to eat. Their choice of destination often hinges on the availability of suitable food options.
So, instead of writing a blog offering tips to expert parents, I want to address those without picky eaters who may need help understanding the challenges. Many families I work with are primarily concerned about meeting friends and family, fearing they or their child will be judged or pressured to eat unsafe foods, making the holiday harder.
Here are three things parents of picky eaters wish you knew to support them this holiday:
1. Offer Empathy, Even if You Don't Understand.
"Picky eating" is often misunderstood, and not everyone will have that personal experience. You don’t need to understand feeding challenges or differences to be empathetic. Trust me, shame and judgment never help. Instead of judging, be curious and ask yourself, “What don’t I understand?” This approach fosters maturity and understanding. I didn't grasp many of the factors at play with children until I worked in this field and had kids of my own.
2. Avoid Unsolicited Advice.
Unless you've dealt with a child who rejects anything green or new, your well-meaning advice can be overwhelming. We've heard it all: "Just make them sit there!" or "They’ll eat when they’re hungry enough." These tactics often lead to power struggles, making mealtimes worse. Most kids I work with would rather starve than eat unsafe foods. But even worse, it breaks trust and sets back progress for months.
I find the mantra “If they could, they would” helpful. Understanding this can help me offer more meaningful support.
3. Offer Support Without Judgment
If a family with a picky eater visits, ask, "Is there anything [child's name] loves to eat that I can get?" A familiar snack shows you care. Offer it without judgment or pressure to try new foods. Safe foods can make a world of difference. While some kids may experiment with new foods on holiday, many eat less. Travel disrupts routines, so familiar foods provide comfort. This isn’t the time to push dietary expansion. While some children may experiment with new foods on holiday, many will eat less than at home. Travel disrupts their routine, and familiar foods can offer much-needed comfort and nourishment to help manage behaviour. So, while you are welcome to offer new foods alongside preferred foods, there are better times to see dietary expansion.
Understanding these points can significantly help families with picky eaters. Your empathy, support, and lack of judgment can turn a stressful situation into a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
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